A Night of Reflection and Healing
A Rough Night
Athena and I had a rough night last night. Stomach stuff for both of us, it seems. I was awake with the aches of an unrelieved digestive system, and she—at 3:15 a.m.—barked to be let out and promptly raced to the grasses. Meanwhile, my whole right leg was hurting. Imagine. Less than 48 hours post-surgery, and I was feeling surprised and dismayed at this turn of events. Pacienza!
Embracing Empowerment
Now, I sit with ice on my knee and dressed in my intentionally selected warrior garb…that is, an outfit that I really like. Because when I wear what I like, I feel very empowered.
Lessons from My Mother
When my Mom was on Day 5 or 6 of her 13-day journey to what-comes-after-this-life, I had an epiphany: her journey was to be hers and unlike anyone else’s. Dad’s last moments (I was blessed to be present) had been so peaceful. He drew a breath, let it out…and never drew another. It was beautiful. And I wished the same for Mom.
How could I possibly have thought/wished/wanted anything from Mom but her own way of departing this world? So that day, when I awoke to this understanding that she needed and deserved her own path, I made a vow that I would do everything I could to support her on her journey. I dressed intentionally in an outfit that empowered me—colorful, tailored, but with unexpected twists that only those who know me would appreciate.
And I was, not surprisingly, greeted with, “What are you so dressed up for?”
“For Mom,” was my answer.
The Healing Ritual after Surgery
Today, I came downstairs to enjoy my intentionally crafted cappuccino… dressed. My husband asked what I had going on this morning.
“Healing.”
I’m living my authentic self more and more out loud.
“You’re all dressed up.”
“Yes. This is my job right now—Do everything with the intention of healing. And I want to look good doing it. It helps. (This does not yet extend to my unwieldy hair. How human of me! Nonetheless…)
I made and blessed and enjoyed my cappuccino and my soft-boiled egg. I made Throat Coat tea to soothe the parts of my throat that must have gotten scratched by the tube during surgery. I took Triphala for my tummy, gathered ice, my tea, and my book: We the Women – The Hidden Heroes Who Shaped America by Norah O’Donnell. I DO want to talk about this book, so please read it!
Gathering Our Parts
And I am now sitting and writing to you to share how helpful, how essential it is that we gather together all the parts of ourselves and let each of them speak out loud what she needs. To let our healing come from all corners within and around us.
To let sunshine and song and a smile lingering behind our eyes, behind our lips, behind our heart soften every part of us, as best we know how, so that we can be all of who we are, unequivocally, unapologetically.
So we can abide in a place within where “all of me” and “all of you” is welcome.
