The Radical Power of a 16-Hour Day: Reclaiming Time, Rest, and Yourself
Introduction: The 16-Hour Day Arrives
I was introduced to the 16-hour day by my Coach, Mentor, Teacher and Beloved Friend Lisa Marie Hayes.
At first, I felt my whole body clench and curse in resistance: What was she thinking? How on earth could this notion of a 16-hour day possibly help me feel LESS stressed?
And then I started playing with it. I assigned colors because well, I love to color! Things, patterns, and their subsequent feelings began to emerge. Where WAS I giving my time and attention? What WAS taking over? What WAS I falling into?
I began to feel freer, released.
Scheduling in relaxing-with-Jack time.…This had NEVER been front and center. EVER.
That 8 hours that wasn’t on the schedule? Sleep time.
Seeing My Time Through Color
HOW much time was I driving back and forth to Mom’s appointments? Wouldn’t/couldn’t change that, but it sure made me aware of how and why I felt that I didn’t have enough time (and why I felt so tired) to do my business, to write, to walk…
HOW little time did I offer myself?
The Practice
Here’s how I began (and yes, in this order). For ONE week:
Write the appointments that exist—doctors, work schedule as applicable.
Write in my workouts, my walks, my yoga, meditation time, my restorative yoga time, my relaxing-on-purpose time)
This was very hard and evolved over time. (and yes, ME...at the top of the time chain!)Write in caring-for-others time—family, home, friends, dog
Write in prep time for dinner, for dinner, for sitting-on-the-sofa-watching-tv-with-Jack time
Schedule, that is, write in every damn thing—grocery shopping, errands, home-tending etc etc etc.
Initially, I had a far more elaborate color scheme: I was caring for my Mom and for my husband’s business, tending to my business and to my sons’ comings and goings, to projects, volunteer and otherwise.
What the Colors Revealed
I began to really embrace the whole thing as I colored my way to awareness of the following, among others.
I became and grew in my awareness that:
It was really hard to look at a calendar with a lot of purple (my color for my self care, including doctor appointments). I experienced choking sensations related to “why so much you time?”
It was really hard to look at a calendar with so little purple, so little me time.
It induced squirminess to see how much time I assigned to my husband’s business and how little to mine.
I got very curious about HOW I allotted time in my day and days.
I got even more curious about how I might do it differently.
This playing with my calendar evolved. And then, grief and growing and my nervous system (got too close for comfort!) took me away from this very physical manifestation of my inner workings.
What Stayed With Me
Even when this leave from the 16-hour day was happening, important things stayed with me:
~ I can and do make my days.
~ I can shift what I want to shift as the day is unfolding. I can color over and around what’s there and put it somewhere else in my day or week.
~ Everything is related to, contributes to, detracts from my health and well-being.
~ My health and well-being affects everything.
Returning to the Practice
I returned to this 16-hour day when I returned from guiding what I believe was among the most beautiful retreats I’ve ever had the privilege of leading…so, mid-September, about a month ago.
I love the feeling of spaciousness that I create when I move things around, when I choose to change something that appeared written in stone, when I deliberate about "do I truly want this color there?"
And this all brings me to the image below, which is where I started my day today.
A Week of Purple
I decided to look ahead because I have a fair amount of travel coming.
I made a calendar for my week of November 17 (I start my weeks on Monday.)
Do you see all that purple? Remember, purple is my color for self care.
What you’re seeing is real: solid purple for 3 1/2 days.
3 1/2 days devoted to…moi.
I’m going away for 3 days with a friend. We both need a reset. We both respect each other’s need for alone time and we both relish our time together too.
And it’s
3
whole
days
for
me.
I have vowed to bring nothing to read, to have 3 days of no outside input… I’m leaving my laptop at home. (Tho there IS the possibility of watching a movie...)
The Uneasiness of Taking Space
Here’s the—for me—sit-up-and-pay-attention-moment:
I do not recall the last time I allowed myself 3 whole days to breathe and be where I wasn’t at some point planning an event, creating/curating a retreat, touching base with a dear one, writing or organizing something for someone else.
Intentional time away to reset…feels
weird.
I feel…uneasy.
Selfishness knocks at my consciousness and I refuse to let him in.
The Mantra
I consciously choose and re-choose and come back over and over to my mantra:
“I reserve this space and time for me to breathe and be.”
Whatever I’m doing, I’m interrupted by thoughts of something else I could be doing, should be doing…
It happens when I’m making dinner… reading… swimming… walking… sitting on the patio…
This time—this 3 days of purple?
It will take work for me to turn my attention again and again to being purple.
Releasing judgment.
Letting go of guilt.
Taking off the collar of shame of "selfishness."
Learning to savor the expansiveness of my time, my calendar,
of 3 solid days of purple
feels like a monumental task.
And Yet…
I’m game.
I’m worth the work.
I’m worth the ease, the joy, the serenity that comes with this space.
So are you.
blessings,
paula.
